Terry Dobson

The government has just announced that there will be major changes to the game of Cluedo.

Due to Health and Safety violations, the lead pipe will be replaced with a rubber hose. Mrs White has been locked up for being racist. In a cost cutting exercise the kitchen and dining room have been combined. There is nothing left in the budget so the library has been removed altogether, and the study is seen as surplus to requirements so will be auctioned off to the private sector. The ballroom has been converted to a bedroom, which will mean the game will cost more due to under-occupation charges that will be applied from April.

A spokesman from the manufacturers has condemned the move, and stated: “We will be supplying extra rope for the games provided to Downing Street in the hope that given enough they will go hang themselves.”

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